How to give and receive feedbacks

I just came back from a workshop on "How to give and receive feedbacks". Before today I vaguely sensed some issues but I have a much better idea after the workshop. For instance, I knew different people have different styles and ideally we should apply the approach that fits their style in order to communicate effectively. Here is an example from today's workshop.

One girl mentioned she would prefer her boss to talk about what she hadn't done well over tea. This way she felt much more relaxed. Another girl said she would have felt being manipulated if her boss had done that to her. For her business is business, if she is invited for tea, then no "sugar-coated bombs" are expected.

This sheer difference in attitude was because, according to our instructor, the two girls are of different type of characters. The first one is so-called "Analytical" and the second is a "Driver". Both types have high levels of assertiveness, the analytical are way less responsive in comparison therefore prefer things happened in a less intensive manner. On the contrary the drivers' interest is "what can I do NOW?"

Of course it is difficult to put tags on people. I myself wasn't sure whether I belong to "the Amiable" or "the Responsive". They both have low level of assertiveness but the former are less responsive, and their first priority is to avoid conflicts. In this sense I am definitely an amiable person. On the other hand, I also enjoy interacting with people and popping out immediate suggestion, which fits better with the Responsive group.

In either case it seems like I am not the type who enjoys forcing other people into action. Found something else in common with MM!

The most important lesson I learned today is that you should let people come up with their own solutions, even if you are supposed to know better. This way they will get motivated instead of simply follow your will. Sounds simple enough? I thought I had known that too. But only after the workshop I realized I had done exactly the opposite the other day, no wonder MM reacted as a rebellious bear...